Warning Labels

Let me start by saying I fully understand that people do stupid things, but sometimes I have to question what goes on in people's minds.  Case in point, warning labels.  The only reason why warning labels exist is because people do really stupid things. 


For example, I whipped out the directions packet for my hair dryers just for kicks. Here is one of the many warnings "Do not use while taking a shower."

But there are plenty of other really dumb warning labels floating around the world. There are lots on your basic cleaning supplies, like Windex.  The warning is "Do not spray in eyes." 


My question is who thought spraying themselves in the face with Windex was a good idea???


This is how I imagine that happening.

Upon closer inspection....

Because we all know that spraying Windex in your face will not only lead to severe eye pain, but also will permanently color your skin blue.

It gets even better.  On Liquid Plummer, the warning is, "Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."


Because obviously the first thing people think is to use a bottle that once held chemicals that break down nasty gross sink clogging icky things is the perfect container for the Kool aid you just made. 

This is the obvious truth.

Despite the ridiculousness that happens when warning labels tell you to avoid the obvious, what happens when they make absolutely zero sense?


For example, I got my boyfriend a remote control helicopter for his birthday.  The warning label read as follows, "If blade damage, don't be fly.  Otherwise it will create the human body or blane damage."


For starters what the hell is "blane damage"? The only blane I know of is in Pokemon and it's spelled completely different. But if the broken blade of the rc helicopter managed to somehow damage Blaine in my Pokemon game, that would be AWESOME!

And I don't understand "don't be fly.  Otherwise it will create the human body..." This is what I'm thinking would happen if I ignored this warning.

Sad face.... helicopter blades are broken.

Whatever! I be fly!

I don't understand.  Also if it created the human body, would the newly spawned person be able to move around?? Would it actually be conscious and walk and talk and all that?  The label just says the human body, so I don't know if consciousness is included in that, but I'm going to assume not.  


So there you have it.  You break the blades on an rc helicopter and decide to be fly, a human body will spawn in your house.  Once people find out you have a random body at your house, you will be labeled as a psycho and be ostracized.


What have I learned today?


1. Warning labels are hilarious.
2. People do really stupid things.
3. Never break the blades on an rc helicopter and then decide to be fly.  It would have disastrous social repercussions.