I Will Never Be A Good Parent

As most of you know, I'm basically a small child on the inside.  If I still had the opportunity to steal my brothers' micro-machines, I would set those up to have an all out epic war.  Just like this.

Because Hoth is AWESOME!

If I lived in a HUGE house and had all my old toys at my disposal, the play mobile and then managed to sneak a few of my brother's toys, they would all be in battle against each other!  Meanwhile, my doll house would have the girly play mobile all set up having parties and having a great time.


These toys are mine.  They will always be mine, and I don't think I will ever grow the heart to share them... yes, I was that child that thought everyone else's toys were cooler than mine, so I "borrowed" them and played with them when they weren't looking.


But playing with micro-machines isn't the only reason why I would fail as a parent. No, I would probably take my child's micro-machines and play with them myself.

Mine! Don't take the toys!

Meanwhile, mini-me is upset that she can't play with the toys too.

PLEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSEEE!!!! I be goods... promises.

Yes, little me will talk like Gollum.

On and on will this battle of wills go on with the toys up until someone tells me to gives over the toys and reminds me that I'm a grown up.  And grown ups don't play with micro machines.

Stupid social norms.

Not only would I hog the toys, I would also take over the tv.  What if my child wanted to watch a horrible movie, like Land Before Time 2,587??? Nope. Not happening.

Yep. Don't care. Seen this one, then he gets processed and the West consumes him to run its cars.

Little me would be so happy. Learning about oil drilling and all of that.  

Meanwhile, I would be sitting there half tempted to take the remote and turn that crap off.  Fighting this horrible battle inside me, half tempted to turn off the dumbest Land Before Time movie and give my child a good nerd education and put on Star Wars instead or pick some other awesome movie, like Indiana Jones or something.  


There I would be pouting on the couch until the next 90 minutes were over.

Little me should be excited to watch Star Wars. Star Wars should have this effect on little me.

But what if it didn't??? 


Like the horrible parent I would be, I would force my child to watch Star Wars. She's going to sit there and watch Star Wars and she'll like it.

It would just be way too confusing for my brain.  Pretty sure my brain would explode from that much confusion.


Poor little me.  Little me would have to deal with watching only nerd movies and have to fight a battle of wills anytime she would want to play with toys. 


Do I have to be an adult? And do things like, pay bills and get a job???


NEVER!!!! 


I will be like Peter Pan forever!!!