Hello again Internet!
I have crawled out of the hobbit hole I call my apartment, and I am back by popular demand to write more about stuff!
And popular demand, I mean my 2 friends, who I'm pretty sure are the only people who read this. I would like to take the time to reaffirm my being an introvert. Thank you.
While I may not have expected summer camp to be a time of reading, I did want to have time away from everyone else. Frankly, being 10 years old in a cabin with 12 other 10 year old girls was exhausting. I did not and may never have the stamina to handle that many people all day, everyday for two weeks.
They would want to gab.
And I would either politely engage or reply with short answers. More likely than not, it was short, blunt, and socially unacceptable responses.
Most of the girls did not want to talk to me.
This did not make summer camp the greatest of experiences. It's not that I intentionally said these things to be harsh or socially awkward.
Even though I was left alone at camp, except to talk to the one friend who actually came with me to camp, I was content being by myself. This contentedness continued to grow as I was ostracized by my peers all through grade school to high school. Fortunately, my teachers understood this and let me be to work on my own, which I was more than happy to do.
I understand Darcy.
For a while, I called myself shy. Let's break this apart. Shy is defined as "being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people." People don't make me nervous. The social obligations they bring make me nervous. How much conversation can you get out of the weather?
Clearly, my conversation skills are lacking
But once I get into a little band of nerd friends, I'm not timid.
Normally, I don't have any issues with my neighbors. In fact, I've never had any really terrible neighbors. But I do have a bunch of pet peeves, and for some reason no matter where I live, there's always one neighbor who manages to do one of my pet peeves. So here is a list of things that make you a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad neighbor.
1. Music
Don't take this the wrong way. I love music, but I don't like hearing YOUR music in my apartment. When I can feel my door or floor vibrating, because you wanted to appreciate the bass or whatever it is you're doing, something is wrong.
Not just a little bit wrong, a lot a bit wrong.
I appreciate you're love for your music. But I don't appreciate you loving your music in my apartment. And when I can hear your electronic/techno music over Say Yes to the Dress. When that happens, my rage face starts to come out.
It begins with the "Are you kidding me??" face. And not the laughing, are you kidding face.
This is the serious "Are you kidding?" face
This is the prelude the "ROAR!!!" face.
2. Arguing
I'd like to help you if you have any problems, but that only counts if I know you. Personally, I don't care about the fact that you're mad that your boyfriend missed your date to watch Toddlers and Tiaras. Fact is he probably hates that show as much as I do. Instead he'd rather be watching the South Park episode with Honey Boo Boo.
Because clearly, this is more entertaining than this
No offense to TLC or Toddlers and Tiaras, but it's not my thing.
I don't want to hear you screaming at him over the phone. Why?? Because your personal life shouldn't enter the 4 walls that are my apartment unless I offer to fix them or let them enter.
All this leads to the progression of the rage face.
3. Stomping
Really, I'm pretty sure you're not part of Stomp! Odds are that your life is not this:
As cool as this is, I don't want to hear you literally stomping arou
nd your apartment. Maybe you should wear some slippers! Really. You can get them at Target.
I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU MY SLIPPERS!!
Ladies, this includes you stumbling into your hard wood floored apartment at 3AM in your 6" heels.
First question, how do you walk in those??? Really? I'd fall over and die! So major cookies to you for being able to wear them, but please please please please!!!! take off your shoes before stumbling around your apartment for an hour at 3AM after you get back from the bar.
This type of thing leads to the sleepy rage face.
So far that's all I can think of. I'm sure there are more annoying things I could think of, but these are the major ones.
What have I learned from all this?
Go to sleep with headphones! Then I can't hear you, and I can only hear what I want to hear.
I'm not going to lie, whenever I picture my self doing something, it's always 1000 times more epic in my mind than it is in real life. It's kind of along the lines of the super powers idea, but it's not the same. I picture my hobbies to be so much more exciting than they actually are. For example, I started doing archery. Every time I go to the range I feel like I'm like Russell Crowe in Robin Hood or Merida in Brave. But I am neither a man nor Scottish. This is how I envision my trips to the range. LOTS of epic. Also, with accompanying epic music from Two Steps from Hell.
But not CGI and defineity not medieval.
This is more like what I do.
But I'm an adult, and my bow is not made of plastic.
Also, I started sewing. It's nothing special. I've made a couple skirts and a dress. The dress sucked to put together. Whoever writes those instructions need to write them for people who have never sewed before. Just an FYI. Anyways, while I'm putting these together, I'm picturing that my final product is going to be this super awesome costume or gown or in the future I'm going to make something like that.
This is what I'm thinking of.
Amazing, elaborate costumes
or
a beautiful gown that I'd never be able to wear in real life, but I'd have it.
This is reality.
It's not this exact pattern, but I have a skirt pattern that's pretty much the same.
This is the predicament of my life. However, even though I may never be able to be Robin Hood or Merida in this life, mayhaps the zombies will rise and I can put my archery skills to use.
But the costumes and gown ambition, that may possibly come to fruition. After some classes and lots of frustration with pleats, bustles, easing, and much else, we'll see what happens.
So I've been working out pretty hard and been seriously counting calories.
I FINALLY learned portion control and how to mange what I eat. Thank you to SparkPeople.com!
I lost 30 pounds, but then Christmas happened.... It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I still feel like I could have been more attentive to my meals and working out.
However, my friend did the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and she looks fantastic! And she's kept up with it. And then my mom asked me about it, so I'm her guinea pig. And well... I'm trying it for myself.
Here's how it works. You do 10 days each level, and there are 3 levels.
Day 1
The 20 minute workout felt like it was FOREVER! I thought I was going to die. My legs burned, my arms hurt, and all I wanted to do was lay down and die. But I stuck with it. I felt so good after the workout. It was brutal, but 100% worth it.
Day 2
I woke up sore. My back was sore; my legs were sore. I didn't want to move. So I did a puzzle and looked for a job. However, when 9 PM rolled around I figured I should probably get off my butt and actually do something. The workout was so much better. However, I did put on South Park and watched that while I was working out. That probably helped distract me. Don't get me wrong, it was still hard.
I've got 8 more days with level 1. We'll see how it goes.
Turns out you can do the 30 Day Shred on YouTube! Here's one video that has all 3 levels in one video.
If you haven't heard the 12 Pains of Christmas song, you need to listen to it now. Right now.
This may be the best Christmas song. Ever.
Anyways, the 12 Pains of Christmas aside, I think maybe I'll jump on the 12 Things of Christmas bandwagon and make my own list of things that are particularly memorable at Christmas time. And, there's no way I was getting to 12, so here goes.
1. Decorating the Tree
I know, I'm stealing an idea from the 12 Pains of Christmas song, but hear me out. Decorating the tree is always fondly remembered as a joyful occasion with Christmas songs in the background. At least, this is how we would like to remember decorating the tree.
After pushing aside some of those "memories" that I know I created, decorating the tree is always this grand occasion of first hauling up ALL the boxes that are falling apart and hidden in the vast abyss that is the basement. Isn't that always the case? The one time you need to drag out all your Christmas ornaments, they're in boxes that are more duct tape than cardboard. Also, you try to remember which box has which ornament. Why do we even bother trying to organize them?
After you've spend 5 hours first locating the boxes, then hauling them up from the case, you FINALLY begin. What happened to this supposed organization that you did last year? You can't find your baby ornament, and none of the boxes labels make sense. Meanwhile, you're wondering, "Who decided that
'bunnies' was a good label? There are only 4 rabbit ornaments!"
In your desperation to find a home on the tree for ALL your ornaments, you realize they don't all fit. But you're going to make them fit. Don't worry, tree branches can hold 4 ornaments. Definitely.
Finally, your masterpiece has been created. And it looks something like this
There was a tree under there when you started...
2. Presents
Who doesn't like presents??? The getting, not just the giving part. Or is that supposed to be the other way around? Either way. Presents are awesome for this singular reason. Some people cannot wrap presents.
You give them credit for trying, but sometimes words cannot express how poorly some presents are wrapped. Here are a few.
This my friends is a bicycle. Really?? That's like trying to wrap a Big Wheel. Can't you just stick a bow on it and call it a day. Forget the wrapping paper. but look at how they wrapped the seat!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Behold!!
Christmas wrapping at its finest. I LOVE getting presents like this. You can't ever let this down... ever.
I have saved the best for last.
Wow... just wow.
Words cannot describe this patchwork (literally) Christmas wrapping.
To submit you're own terribly wrapped presents go to http://manwrapt.com/
3. Sibling Camaraderie
Yes, it's spelled correctly. Google that.
Anyways, I feel like when all my siblings get together we're kind of like the Marx Brothers. I like to think that I'm the Harpo of the clan (because he's my favorite).
But, who gets to bother you and poke you incessantly? No one. Just like in the lemonade stand sketch.
Especially the bit where Harp and Chico keep making the lemonade stand guy hold their legs and trade hats.
Also, these are probably the only people in my life who could mirror my moves, just to bother me. Just like in the Marx brothers' most famous sketch.
4. Screaming
And no holiday would be complete without someone getting mad at the other person. What do we get mad over?? Nothing serious!! It's always one of these few things: "STOP TOUCHING ME!" "COME HERE!" "STOP POKING ME!" or someone's name.
Sometimes I think my family can be summed up during the poke war between Sid the Sloth and the Baby in Ice Age.
5. Music & Movies
Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas music and Christmas movies as much as the next person. But I don't enjoy listening to the same Christmas album 5 times in a row. Nor do I enjoy watching the same Christmas movie (or any movie for that matter) 10 times over a weekend.
Christmas is one of those special times of the year when you get to listen to the same Christmas album 15 times in a row, and you CAN'T say anything about it.
Why?? Because it's Christmas music! That's like saying you hate cookies.
Everyone likes cookies.
Like when Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmas Time" comes on the radio. Even though I cannot find the words to describe how much I loathe this song, I still have to listen to it.
Why?? Because it's Christmas music. And by default it will be played on the radio.
However, I do wish they'd play more classic Christmas songs and include more things like the Ave Maria. (Even though the Ave Maria isn't really a Christmas song).
