This may be the best Christmas song. Ever.
Anyways, the 12 Pains of Christmas aside, I think maybe I'll jump on the 12 Things of Christmas bandwagon and make my own list of things that are particularly memorable at Christmas time. And, there's no way I was getting to 12, so here goes.
1. Decorating the Tree
I know, I'm stealing an idea from the 12 Pains of Christmas song, but hear me out. Decorating the tree is always fondly remembered as a joyful occasion with Christmas songs in the background. At least, this is how we would like to remember decorating the tree.
After pushing aside some of those "memories" that I know I created, decorating the tree is always this grand occasion of first hauling up ALL the boxes that are falling apart and hidden in the vast abyss that is the basement. Isn't that always the case? The one time you need to drag out all your Christmas ornaments, they're in boxes that are more duct tape than cardboard. Also, you try to remember which box has which ornament. Why do we even bother trying to organize them?
After you've spend 5 hours first locating the boxes, then hauling them up from the case, you FINALLY begin. What happened to this supposed organization that you did last year? You can't find your baby ornament, and none of the boxes labels make sense. Meanwhile, you're wondering, "Who decided that
'bunnies' was a good label? There are only 4 rabbit ornaments!"
In your desperation to find a home on the tree for ALL your ornaments, you realize they don't all fit. But you're going to make them fit. Don't worry, tree branches can hold 4 ornaments. Definitely.
Finally, your masterpiece has been created. And it looks something like this
There was a tree under there when you started...
2. Presents
Who doesn't like presents??? The getting, not just the giving part. Or is that supposed to be the other way around? Either way. Presents are awesome for this singular reason. Some people cannot wrap presents.
You give them credit for trying, but sometimes words cannot express how poorly some presents are wrapped. Here are a few.
This my friends is a bicycle. Really?? That's like trying to wrap a Big Wheel. Can't you just stick a bow on it and call it a day. Forget the wrapping paper. but look at how they wrapped the seat!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Behold!!
Christmas wrapping at its finest. I LOVE getting presents like this. You can't ever let this down... ever.
I have saved the best for last.
Wow... just wow.
Words cannot describe this patchwork (literally) Christmas wrapping.
To submit you're own terribly wrapped presents go to http://manwrapt.com/
3. Sibling Camaraderie
Yes, it's spelled correctly. Google that.
Anyways, I feel like when all my siblings get together we're kind of like the Marx Brothers. I like to think that I'm the Harpo of the clan (because he's my favorite).
But, who gets to bother you and poke you incessantly? No one. Just like in the lemonade stand sketch.
Especially the bit where Harp and Chico keep making the lemonade stand guy hold their legs and trade hats.
Also, these are probably the only people in my life who could mirror my moves, just to bother me. Just like in the Marx brothers' most famous sketch.
4. Screaming
And no holiday would be complete without someone getting mad at the other person. What do we get mad over?? Nothing serious!! It's always one of these few things: "STOP TOUCHING ME!" "COME HERE!" "STOP POKING ME!" or someone's name.
Sometimes I think my family can be summed up during the poke war between Sid the Sloth and the Baby in Ice Age.
5. Music & Movies
Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas music and Christmas movies as much as the next person. But I don't enjoy listening to the same Christmas album 5 times in a row. Nor do I enjoy watching the same Christmas movie (or any movie for that matter) 10 times over a weekend.
Christmas is one of those special times of the year when you get to listen to the same Christmas album 15 times in a row, and you CAN'T say anything about it.
Why?? Because it's Christmas music! That's like saying you hate cookies.
Everyone likes cookies.
Like when Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmas Time" comes on the radio. Even though I cannot find the words to describe how much I loathe this song, I still have to listen to it.
Why?? Because it's Christmas music. And by default it will be played on the radio.
However, I do wish they'd play more classic Christmas songs and include more things like the Ave Maria. (Even though the Ave Maria isn't really a Christmas song).
On that note, I'll leave you with that song.
Merry Christmas!!!
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